For the first time in a long time I’ve made a New Year’s Resolution, and I’ve made it before February! (I usually make my resolutions in late January or February). December was very much about getting through and trying to survive. Once I’d made it to late January I felt in a better place to consider if and what I’d like to aim for in the next year.
This year I have already decided on the main thing I’d like to achieve in 2025. That’s to slow down. This isn’t about doing less, though that may become an outcome of slowing down, but maybe not.
For the last 10-13 years, December has been a very difficult time for me mentally and emotionally; so not the best time to be making plans or goals for a year I wasn’t always sure I’d see through.
Even now I feel like there’s an aggressive assumption and undue assuredness that, "yer, of course I’ll be here in December". That seems so presumptive. Everyday I'm worrying that something will happen to us, that some accident or incident will occur and one of us could be seriously injured (my depressive and maybe anxious brain at work there).
That has definitely fed into the burnout this year and trying to make the most of every moment, with little space or time to mentally and emotionally pause and refresh. This year has been hectic to say the least. But on three separate occasions towards the end of the year I was at breaking point, just absolutely empty.
Hopefully slowing down in 2025 will help with creating both the moments to, and the mental ability to, pause or even stop. Not rushing to eat because the next thing needs doing, not rushing upstairs because of a reason that doesn't matter, and most importantly not repeatedly saying “quick” to Henry.
It’s funny (interesting) how parenting has, for me, meant I’ve vocalised things I’ve done for a long time. And having heard myself say them, rather then just doing them has caused more awareness or maybe realisation of what I’m doing and how I do it. Along with the reflection of ‘do I want to do that’? Finding myself saying “quick” as often as I do isn’t something I like or something I want Henry to think when we are doing things together. So I’m going to make a real effort to not just slow down but also manage my language around how we are doing things.
There’s a couple of smaller things that would be nice to try to do as well; very much as a second poroirity. They are:
We've got so many lovely photos and thet are only on our phones. So I'd like to print some of our photos and either get them framed or put on canvas.
We are developing extra clutter again, so continuing to house sort and getting rid of things we don't need or use.
If possible we'd like to move house in the next 24 months. That a big one, so let's see what happens there.
There's been a lot of Henery changes, and my own experince as a new parent has been amazing, and alos tiring and all consuming. However, next year I'd like to see friends more. This year I think the most I managed was once, maybe twice with some people. So gradually I'd like to learn how to reincorporate time with friends.
Keep up the running! I'm really pleased with how this year ended and my total (coming in another post). And in reviewing my year, I've seen a challenege I'll like to try for next year. It maybe a stretch to achieve, but I'd really like to give it a go.
Overall this year has been great, but hard. It's been so rewarding and so tiring. Hopefully next year is full of more amazingness, but to really enjoy that I need to slow down. So, here's to going slow.
Happy New Year.
Bloggers Note:
If you are struggling this New Year, here are some wellbeing tips that have supported me:
Try to find wellbeing activities that support you
Try to find your Safe People, these maybe friends, colleagues, family, or professional services
Consider talking to your GP to discuss your stress, worry or mood
Check out talking and or listening services
Find your local Mind
Chat to Samaritans
Signposting to support:
Self care for depression - mind.org.uk
Ways to support yourself - yongminds.org.uk
Support with low mood - nhs.uk