It's happened! We did it! Myself and Laura now live together! Wow!
New & Emotional
It feels new and slightly holiday-ish at the moment, I think it will take some time to set in. But as we empty each box and slowly get there with each room, well, it already feels 'more' than before.
We started moving stuff in 6 days ago now and so far, I have cried at some point everyday (mostly with happiness). Being happy is very much something I am learning to accept and experience. Even now, I am so stupid happy because I can hear Laura rearranging and sorting things in the kitchen. That she is in the next room is so special.
One of the reasons I have been emotional this week is because as we take each step in our relationship I feel like I have more to lose and I worry about losing it. However I have noticed, I am becoming worried in a more abstract way, rather than feeling Laura is going to leave. So I am happy with that change in my thinking behaviour. Personally, I feel that's a big progression.
There was also a lot of emotion wrapped up in Millie not coming home for a couple of days before I moved, so I was worried I wouldn't find her and she'd be lost. But, we went back one evening after moving at around 11pm and she was outside (YAY!), so we managed to smuggle her into the cat box and then the car.
Leaving a House to Build a Home
Leaving my little space in Havant was, I wouldn't say sad... more poignant. It felt like a moment, a moment I wanted to recognise. This is me taking a chance. This is me moving forward. This is me living.
The Process
This isn't sponsored, but I have found some people/ companies very helpful and easy to use so I thought I would shout them out a bit here.
I decided to move my own stuff. Which was fine but... It meant that I didn't pack everything very well as I thought "that will be fine, it's only me moving things". Yer, pack stuff properly. It'll help you out when you get to the new place. Also, yes I could lift everything I packed on my own, however, your motivation and energy does drop. That's something I hadn't fully considered beforehand.
In the end, fortunately, I did accept help moving, so big thank you to Darryl, Paul, Dad and Laura's family for getting involved. I think I would still be trying to move things now without your help.
I used Enterprise for van hire and they were super helpful and easy to use. Their advise was great when deciding which size van to get too.
Pearsons were the agents for the seller we brought from, and they were super helpful and informative. I believe they are slightly more expensive than other agents, but, having viewed and communicated with other agents in our search, they were by far the best (I have already recommended them to other people).
A Big Change
Talking is such an important thing for both myself and Laura. There's been some important conversations already. Particularly about things we should keep/ get rid of and how we are feeling about the whole process. It is a big change for both of us and having conversations has helped me to better understand what Laura is experiencing, while also being a great way for me to explore my own thoughts.
Living with someone after having time on your own is a big change and it will take time to get used to having someone else in the house most of the time. So far I have spent most of it either moving, unpacking or hugging Laura. I think once I am back at work it'll start to feel more real and permanent.
It is scary letting someone in, I feel very vulnerable at the moment and like I'm finding my feet. The whole moving process was fine because I had things to do. There was packing, moving, unpacking (well the start of it), now I am starting to have time to think about it and my mind is whizzing around. I am going to try and make sure each day I have 5 minutes to think about everything and recognise what I am thinking and feeling. Because I feel like I could push a lot of this to one side, then in a months time find myself overcome with emotions and thoughts that I haven't processed. So making time to think, process and breath is going to be key.
Right now, I am excited for the future. I am excited to start building a home with Laura. I am happy. And that, that feels good.