Following on from my post about not being able to see my dick in March, things haven't got much better. In fact recently I did an amazing thing in jumping out a plane (blog post coming next week)! Which did require a weigh in. Hummm, it wasn't great. The last time I weighed myself was maybe 7 or 8 years ago and I think I weighed 11 stone.
Weight is so personal and much like other topics I would never treat / view someone else the way I treat / view myself. You know?
My weigh in resulted in me having to change my shoes to get under a weight limit, of 15 stone! For me this was... well massive. Admittedly I am older, less fit, less active and I knew I was heavier. But sitting on the 15 stone boundary was not cool for me. A few days after the jump I thought about the weight thing and looked at the NHS site (not a good idea in this case). I found out I am now obese. Not over weight (as expected), but OBESE!
Again this is my own reaction to my own body, not a judgement I have on anyone else. Gosh, we live in a critical world were I feel the need to keep saying that.
I have been inspired by Hannah and Magda's fitness videos and photos to try and increase on the one run a week I do. But its hard to keep the motivation. But Im going to keep trying, despite my dreams of a one week transformation, I know thats not going to happen.
Last week I got some new sports gear to help with the motivation. I have struggled with not having pockets in my most recent pair of sorts, so that was a requirement. Other than that I was open to what I got.
Im about to rave about New Balance, so I will state this is not sponsored.
I went to TKMaxx in Waterlooville and looked around. I found some cool New Balance shorts and a top. I have had New Balance running trainers for years and they have always been great. Im currently on my second or third pair, with the current pair lasting 4 years, so far! So the idea of being kitted out in all New Balance was quite appealing to me. It made me feel... positive about working out and wearing this as a workout attire. Anyone else massively affected by their workout attire? I think it matters more to me in the summer when I'm out in the daylight. In the winter when its wet(ter) and cold(er) I don't think I care as much. Im too busy laughing at running in the rain and not being able to see.
Putting on the gear made me feel motivated and I even wanted to talk about pushing myself to do more.
Thanks to Rich I have also found The Body Coach HITT (high intensity interval training) videos on youtube. Which I have enjoyed trying (I have only done 2 so far), and I hope that I can make doing 1 or 2 a week part of my routine and maybe build up in the future.
Fitness in terms of body image concerns are often directed at females (in my opinion). Which can make saying you are not happy with body as a male difficult (again my opinion). Like I shouldn't be worrying about my body, or if I don't look a certain way it means I've given up on being attractive as a man. Maybe its my depression, but I feel like its another thing I'm not meant to talk about or take seriously.
Maybe my size and weight isn't that bad, but it is having an effect on me. Buying 36 and 38 waist instead of 30 and 32 is not cool for me and if I don't then I look ridiculous in the smaller clothes I still have at that smaller size. What I guess I'm saying, maybe, is that its about finding what you're happy with. Having clothes that fit me has helped. But I don't look the way I want to. While I want to be appealing to the opposite sex, this is about how I feel about me. I would like to be able to just have my photo taken without feeling like I need to breathe in and hold my breath!
Hopefully this is the (extended) start to my journey to greater fitness and maybe more happiness...