This is the first time in a long time that I've really thought about whether I should write a particular post. That says something coming from someone who's written about masterbation, dating, mental health and relationships.
Recently I spoke online about attending more blogger events, the reason for this is because I have really enjoyed the previous events I have attended. The #MHmeet in Manchester and Co-Hosting the recent #MHBSouthCoast event in Southampton have been awesome. While 'events' are great, which can be larger and sponsored by brands and businesses. I am particularly interested in 'meet ups', where I just get to meet other bloggers, vloggers and podcasters. Its fair to say I'm more interested in the people. Also meeting more local guys and gals.
I have enjoyed these events so much I would like to attend more! However this seemed to aggravate some people. First off I would like to apologise if any offence was caused. However for me, I can't really see how there was. I have no criticisms of previous events I have attended, they have all been great. Thats why I want to attend more!
Additionally I would really like to meet more people. I started blogging because of my mental health struggles. I needed to get some feels out of my system, since then its has grown to being an opportunity to raise awareness, promote the support that is available and reach out to people who maybe struggling. Attending meet ups and participating in various online chats has allowed me awesome opportunities to meet more people and also to learn about different interests, hobbies and passions others have.
Until this recent interaction my experience has been 98% positive. However my meet up views resulted in negative reactions from some. This really feeds into my borderline personality disorder and depression. Particularly because I can't understand how my desire to meet other people is a negative thing. It has made me feel low, angry, upset and frustrated. It has sat lovely with my BPD in that it reinforces that people leave, they change and there is no long term.
Rightly or wrongly, I do feel that I have been excluded from that group now, which is a shame particularly as we have met.
It is my hope that in writing this post I can move past this discussion and live according to Frozen's Anna and just 'Let it go'.
Having one less group to be part of does mean that I really should be looking even more for other groups to be part of and meet ups to attend. But right now, I feel crappy and very disheartened.
I also write this post because I know others that have negative experiences online and / or as part of groups. I want to say to them (because I can't say it to myself), theres so many groups out there, join in, chat to people, make friends, if your PR minded think of it as networking, if not think of it as meaning a fellow blogger.
Not every group will suit you, and it seems you will not suit every group.
Hopefully we can all have a hug in the future and move past this.
For now Im going to watch Rookie Blue and eat pizza while feeling sorry for myself, haha.
Thank you for reading. If you have been affected by online chats or social groups I would love to chat with you if your comfortable too.